


Lost

by KittyGodspeed118



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Angst, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 21:38:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6441811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyGodspeed118/pseuds/KittyGodspeed118
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan gets offered an incredible deal that could mean a new milestone in his musical career and Arin has to figure out whether he wants to confess his feelings for him. Super angsty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Opportunity Knocks

"We'll, uh, we'll figure this shit out next time of Game Grumps," Dan chuckled, practically lying upside down on the couch. "Stay sexy, baby girl!"

Arin snorted, slouching down until he was halfway on the floor. It was a particularly humid day in Los Angeles. Dan dove for his phone, which had been buzzing like crazy since they started recording.

"Hello? Yeah...this is Dan..."

Arin climbed to the other side of the couch and tried to eaves drop. He knew Dan had been expecting an important call for weeks now. Even being so interested, Arin zoned out, not bothering to listen to the conversation after a while. He leaned forward with anticipation as soon as Dan hung up.

"So? Spill! What happened?"

"Brian and a bunch of other friends of mine sent samples of my music to a major record label," Dan explained slowly, his face showing a forced smile. "The manager said he'd love to put my original stuff on the radio and even put our cover album on shelves everywhere..."

"Fuck, dude, that's great!"

"Yeah, and he even thinks we could do concert tours-"

"We can grind out a ton of episodes before you leave! It'll be fine, dude, we travel all the time-"

"I'd have to move to Manhattan," Dan cut in, no longer even bothering to pretend he was alright. "That's what the call was about. I get to do everything I've ever wanted, but I can't stay here. That was the deal."

"Well, you turned them down, right," Arin asked as if it were an easy choice.

"I told them I'd think on it."

"You'll say no, won't you?"

Dan finally looked over at Arin, almost offended as he squinted in disbelief.

"And what the hell makes you so sure? I got offered the chance of a lifetime, something I've been working my entire life to achieve."

"You already have a successful band and we've been doing Game Grumps for 3 years. I thought you settled down by now..."

"I'm not 50, Arin. I'm 36 years old, and that's not nearly the right age for me to hunker down and let every new opportunity past me by. I've got new shit ahead of me. You've given me some of the best years of my life, and I'm grateful, but these chances are so fucking rare."

Neither of them spoke for a moment. Dan sighed loudly and ran his long fingers through his thick hair.

"I have three days to give them an answer."

Arin gritted his teeth and stood up, fists clenched tight.

"What am I gonna do without you? You're my best friend," he breathed, the words barely coming out.

"You've got Suzy," Dan cut in sharply, his tone harsh and distant. "Look, I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow."

With that, he picked up his car keys and leather jacket, leaving without another word.

What the fuck was that supposed to mean, Arin thought. They'd gotten into a comfortable rhythm, finally reaching a nice comfortable routine after Jon left the show. It felt like a family again. And all of a sudden, that balance he'd worked so hard to maintain was being disrupted once again. He knew Dan was in love with him. Everyone knew. He'd put off confronting it because it just seemed easier not to. Dan never brought it up, so neither did he. Even still, he dreaded the pain in Dan's voice whenever he cancelled plans to hang out with Suzy. Yes, they were married, but that didn't make it any less painful.

Dan slammed his foot onto the gas pedal as he made his way home. Now in the comfort of his own car, he began to cry. He'd loved his time in L.A. And everyone he bonded with. He couldn't bare the thought of leaving that behind. Then he thought of New York City, the place where dreams came true. His career as a serious musician was close enough to taste by now. Then his mind wandered to Arin. For so long, he'd suppressed his feelings, knowing how happy he was with Suzy. Even without saying, Arin knew how he felt. Neither of them acknowledged it, but the running around in circles was absolute torture. Maybe the distance was what he needed to move on.

"I'm home," he yelled at the front door of his apartment.

"Hey," Barry called, stepping out of the bathroom. "Was shaving. Anyway, what happened? You look like you've been crying-"

"Those record label people called and offered me an opportunity to go on tour and shit...but I'd have to move to New York to record albums," Dan explained, wiping tears from his eyes.

"That's fantastic! Why aren't you excited? You finally get to do some serious music!"

Dan shook his head and curled up on the couch, his entire body seemingly wanting to shut down. Barry nodded as if he understood, grabbing a blue blanket and mint chip ice cream from the freezer.

"It's Arin, isn't it?"

"Yeah...he doesn't want me to leave, but it's torture to work side by side with the man you know you'll never be with...it fuckin' sucks. Like, he treats me like a boyfriend, but...fuck, I dunno."

"You know what I think?" Barry replied, turning on Game of Thrones.

"Hm."

"I think you should go for it. Arin hates change, and it'll hurt for a while, but you'll be doing what you love and you need to put yourself first every once in a while. This shit doesn't happen every day. You can always come back if it doesn't work out. But I mean, you'll never get to know if you don't try."

Dan wiped his eyes and rolled up in the blanket with Barry, the ice cream stinging as it hit his tongue. Barry was just what he needed at that moment.

"You're right," Dan sniffled, his mouth full of ice cream. "I think I'll go for it."

Barry smiled, wrapping an arm around Dan and closing his eyes. He'd miss have his fellow Jew friend around, but it wasn't for eternity. It was one of those "if you love something, set it free" moments.

The next day, Dan woke up feeling much better about his decision. Surely if Arin knew he was leaving, he'd speak up and say something about their confusing relationship. On top of that, he'd tour with Brian and have an amazing experience unlike any he'd had before. He drove to the Grump Space and parked, coffee in hand. Arin was digging through the shelves for a new game to play.

"Hey, man," Dan said quietly, leaning in the doorway. "Can we talk?"

"Sonic Colors or Sonic Lost World," Arin replied, not even turning around to look at him.

"W...huh?"

"Pick one. Sonic Colors is pretty cool, I guess, but the game play is fucking terrible. Sonic Lost World was pretty awesome all around, but I've played it already-"

"Arin, we need to talk-"

"Sonic Colors just has better designs overall, though, so it's really hard to-"

"Arin, I took the fucking offer," Dan finally said, only raising his voice slightly.

"...what?"

"I have to call them back, but I'm going to take them up on their offer. I wanted to let you know ahead of time. I didn't wanna give 'em an answer before we talked, but...this could be just what I needed."

"What's there to talk about," Arin muttered coldly. "You already made up your mind, so what the fuck is there to say?"

Dan rolled his eyes, running his hands through his hair in exasperation. He slumped down onto the couch and closed his eyes briefly to compose himself.

"How do you feel about me, Arin?"

"How do I feel about you? The fuck does that even mean?"

"We've been running around in circles since we met, dude, just tell me if you're into me or not..."

"I'm married. You know that. Let's just go record some episodes, okay?"

Reluctantly, Dan moved over on the couch and hugged his knees to his chest. Arin sat down, pretending as if nothing happened. He started the recording, joking around as he always had. Dan did the same, but his reactions were slower, less on the fly. Any fan could easily tell there was a rift between the two. Midway through the recording session, Dan darted into the bathroom and pulled out his phone. He wiped away tears and hit record.

"Hey, lovelies," he sighed, his voice wavering. "It's Dan. I just, uh...I wanted to talk just you and me. I wanna thank you guys for some of the best years of my life. You all mean the fucking world to me, okay? I've never met such dedicated, sweet fans like you guys. I...fuck, I should probably get to the point of this...I have to go. I don't know when or if I'll ever come back, but I'm going to be a musician full time. I don't want you to be angry...I know it's like Jon all over again...I'm so fucking sorry that I have to do this, but...I-I...can't stay here any more. I've gotta move on with my life, ya know? I don't want you guys to go blaming anybody...I'll still be around...just not here. It's just better for everyone this way. It'll be hard to adjust, but...it needs to happen. Uh...thanks again, lovelies. Love you. Bye."

He stopped the video, biting down on his lip to try and keep the tears from flowing. This was one of the most painful goodbyes he'd ever had to be a part of. He finally pried himself from the toilet that he'd sat on top of, opening the stall door and gasping with surprise. Arin leaned against the wall, his face the most serious he had seen it.

"You're serious about leaving, huh?"

"If you felt the way I did, you'd understand. Like I said in the recording, it's just better for everyone this way."

"Then fine. Do it. I'll just get Suzy or Barry or someone else do Game Grumps with me," Arin huffed, his arms crossed over his chest.

"It's not like I'll never be back-"

"Just go make the phone call. The sooner you get the fuck out, the sooner I can call someone to take over."

Dan let out a loud sigh and pushed past him, his feet dragging along the floor as he walked. For someone with no feelings for him, Arin put up the biggest fight out of anyone to keep him around. This was what he was afraid of. He had never had to confront his conflicted feelings about Dan before. It was just flirting and mixed signals, which seemed okay enough with both of them. Neither of them ever brought up what they were. It always boiled down to what seemed to be friends with benefits. And Arin figured they were both okay with that. 

Plans were finalized, calls were made, and by the end of the week, Dan had already notified everyone that he was leaving. He got the utmost outpouring of support from his friends, especially the Grumps. Mark was completely understanding of the situation, urging him to make his dream happen. They all decided to see Dan off at the airport for his flight. The only one coming with him was Brian. In the blink of an eye, everything he grew to love seemed to be staying behind. 

"This isn't forever, goddammit," he told himself, trying his hardest to hold it together.

"We need to go," Brian murmured, hugging the last of the group who came to see them off. 

Dan smiled and hugged everyone, but his eyes scanned the crowd from the one person who refused to come. He hadn't spoken to Arin in what felt like a month. All of a sudden, they went from texting every day to not a single word for weeks. 

"He's really not coming, is he," Dan groaned, hugging Suzy to his chest. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered, nuzzling against him. "You know how childish he gets when he's upset...he'll be here..."

Dan let out a loud sigh and pushed past him, his feet dragging along the floor as he walked. For someone with no feelings for him, Arin put up the biggest fight out of anyone to keep him around. This was what he was afraid of. He had never had to confront his conflicted feelings about Dan before. It was just flirting and mixed signals, which seemed okay enough with both of them. Neither of them ever brought up what they were. It always boiled down to what seemed to be friends with benefits. And Arin figured they were both okay with that. 

Plans were finalized, calls were made, and by the end of the week, Dan had already notified everyone that he was leaving. He got the utmost outpouring of support from his friends, especially the Grumps. Mark was completely understanding of the situation, urging him to make his dream happen. They all decided to see Dan off at the airport for his flight. The only one coming with him was Brian. In the blink of an eye, everything he grew to love seemed to be staying behind. 

"This isn't forever, goddammit," he told himself, trying his hardest to hold it together.

"We need to go," Brian murmured, hugging the last of the group who came to see them off. 

Dan smiled and hugged everyone, but his eyes scanned the crowd from the one person who refused to come. He hadn't spoken to Arin in what felt like a month. All of a sudden, they went from texting every day to not a single word for weeks. 

"He's really not coming, is he," Dan groaned, hugging Suzy to his chest. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered, nuzzling against him. "You know how childish he gets when he's upset...he'll be here..."


	2. Call Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Arin finally confront his feelings for Dan? Will it be too little, too late?

"All you sinners stand up, sing hallelujah," Dan's phone sang, vibrating on the nightstand. "And if you can't stop shakin', lean back, let it flow right through ya-"

"Mm, let it go to voicemail," Brian groaned, his arm around Dan's thin waist. "Too early..."

Dan grinned, nuzzling into his embrace gently. Brian's eyes were still shut tight and the sun hadn't even begun to rise yet. Against his better judgement, he looked at the screen. Arin's face was front and center, a picture of him making an ugly face with all his chin rolls and a middle finger up the nostril for good measure. Dan couldn't help but grin. He reached for his phone, but stopped short when he felt Brian's hand slide into his boxers.

"Thought it was too early, you fucker," Dan teased, shuddering at the touch.

"Eh, I'd rather make you moan than have you answer your phone at the ass crack of dawn. Screen's too bright."

"I...I can call back! You win," he whined, Brian's fingers wrapping around his member. "You're the worst, you know that? The absolute fucking worst," he laughed, suppressing a moan.

"You're into it now, so it's not as fun," Brian grumbled with a fake pout, rolling over.

"Sorry to burst your bubble, fuckface," Dan giggled, rolling over as well and kissing along Brian's neck. "Go back to sleep. You still got plenty of hours."

Brian went soon knocked out again, snoring loudly and obnoxiously. Dan slipped out of the bed, quickly taking his phone with him and closing the bathroom door behind him. He took a deep breath, holding the phone tight in his large hands. He hasn't spoken to Arin in months. There was no telling what would happen in this call.

"Speak," the deep, groggy voice on the other end yawned.

"A-Arin? Hey," Dan stammered, the name feeling foreign on his tongue. "It's...it's me."

His eyes wandered to his watch. Fuck, it was 4:36 in the morning. Neither of them should have been awake.

"Hey, stranger," Arin replied as if nothing had changed between them. "I saw an ad for your show earlier."

"Did you? That's crazy weird, huh?"

Fuck, Dan thought. He was being so awkward.

"You called earlier...I'm sorry I missed you," he continued as casually as he could. "Did you need something?"

"Ah...shit, I didn't think that through...I'm a little wasted."

"Uh huh."

"How are things over there? I think I called because I crazy fucking miss your voice, man. It's not the same without you-"

"It's been six months, Arin," Dan cut in impatiently. "This is the first time we've talked in six fucking months and you're not even sober."

"Yeah? Well, you could have called me," Arin shot back defensively. "What, Mr. Famous too busy to check in now?"

"That's absolute bullshit. You know why I didn't call. You acted like a fucking child, not even bothering to see me off at the airport when I left! So, yeah, I figured you'd call when you were ready. Forgive me for not groveling at you feet and begging your forgiveness when I didn't do a damn thing wrong!"

"Well, maybe I would have called sooner if...forget it. Never mind."

"If what?"

"How are things with Brian," he asked abruptly.

"Um? Fine? We have an apartment in the middle of the city, which is nice..."

"The sex any good? Brian's kinda old, isn't he," Arin went on passively.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? The first call in six months and you have the balls to ask about my relationship like it fucking matters to you? It's too early for your childish bullshit."

"I was just asking! What the hell crawled up your ass and died?!"

"You can't have this shit both ways," Dan said, his teeth clenched. "You can't play with my emotions and then get mad when I find someone else. That's fucking bullshit. I have to go. Bye."

"B-" Arin started, realizing Dan had already hung up. "Ye..."

Dan slammed his phone on the bathroom counter, trudging back into the bedroom. He slipped under the covers, nuzzling against Brian and shutting his eyes tight. If he tried hard enough, he could pretend nothing happened.

Arin sat at the kitchen table, fingers tangled in his silky hair as he sighed loudly. Drinking probably wasn't the best idea. He just expected things to work themselves out. They usually did. He and Dan had never been mad at each other this long. Their previous arguments could be resolved in a few minutes.

"He's right, you know," Suzy murmured, sitting across from him. "You can't have it both ways."

Arin groaned loudly, his head down on the table. He knew he'd been a dick, but how to reconcile it? Suzy looked at her husband's pathetic form, the ring Dan gave him still on his finger next to his wedding ring. He obviously still cared, but things had become so fractured that there didn't seem to be an easy fix.

"Maybe call him back when you're not drunk," Suzy suggested, her voice gentle and she held his hand in hers.

"This is my fault, isn't it," he asked, not bothering to look up.

"What is?"

"Everything! If I just told him how I felt, he wouldn't have left and we wouldn't have to be this fucking broken..."

"He probably still would've left, but it would have been harder for him to, I guess."

"How do you even fix a problem like this?"

"There's no easy answer except to tell him how you actually feel. It's not as hard as you want to make it. It will, however, be a lot fucking harder after the call you made just now."

Arin didn't say anything, but his lack of protest was a sign that he actually understood what she was saying.

"Let's go to bed. I'll think about it in the morning when my head isn't fucked up," he yawned, struggling to stand.


	3. I'll Be Fine On My Own Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Dan and Arin try to fuck to forget, but lust doesn't easily erase love, does it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to a lot of Panic! At The Disco when I wrote this chapter and Hallelujah's lyrics stuck out to me a ton so...

The next morning, Dan rolled on top of Brian, kissing his lips gently. Brian opened his eyes, interlocking his fingers with the other's.

"Someone's up early," he croaked, still obviously half asleep.

"I never went to sleep," Dan admitted.

"Oh? Is something on your mind?"

Dan shook his head. Before he could come up with a decent lie, his phone rang. Hallelujah by Panic! at the Disco echoed from the iPhone and Arin's face was front and center just like it was hours earlier.

"You can answer it," Brian yawned, stretching slightly. "I don't really care."

Dan felt heat rush to his cheeks as he furrowed his brows. No doubt Arin was calling to start more bullshit, he thought. He reached for the phone, turning it screen-down and locking eyes with Brian.

"Nah, it can wait," he said with a careless shrug. "We're in the middle of something," he added with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Middle of...?"

Dan planted his hands on both sides of Brian, gripping the wooden headboard. He closed his eyes, kissing the other's lips with far more aggression than he'd ever used before. Something about his anger forced him to put more passion into every kiss. Maybe it was to spite Arin, maybe it was to reassure himself of something.

The phone buzzed and the same song blared as Dan kicked off his boxers. Brian watched intently, somewhat confused, but wholly aroused.

"What got into you," he inquired curiously as Dan yanked his curly locks into a ponytail.

"I just want you real bad right now," Dan panted, prying Brian's shorts off and firmly gripping his cock. "Only. You."

On the other side of the country, Arin paced his bedroom floor, his phone clasped to his ear. He'd been trying all morning to muster up the courage to call and apologize to Dan. With each ring, he grew more impatient. He turned to Suzy, who'd long since been woken up by the sound of erratic pacing on the wooden floor.

"This is bullshit," he growled, throwing his phone at the wall. "What; is he suddenly too busy to pick up his phone? Is he ignoring me?"

Suzy shrugged sleepily and stretched, trying to look awake. Arin climbed back onto the bed, kissing her lips suddenly.

"When's the last time we had sex," he asked, planting small kisses along her pale neck.

"Um? I don't know...are you sure this is a good idea," she replied, her voice wavering as she tried to suppress moans.

"Let me show you how much I love you by fucking you senseless," he purred, his breath warm on her skin.  
She couldn't resist. Arin's love making was exceptional already, but with his pent-up aggression, it was enough to make her weak in the knees.

You'll never know if you don't ever try again, so let's try, let's try, let's try

Brian's occasional grunts filled the sudden silence that came with the abrupt half of the song. Arin must have finally hung up. For some reason, that was even more infuriating to Dan. He reached for the phone, blasting the actual song on his playlist, before guiding Brian's member inside of him.

All you sinners stand up, sing hallelujah

Suzy seemed to move very little as Arin gave her body all of his attention. He kissed each of her toes, then her calves, trailing his tongue along her inner thighs. Her face flushed, never receiving such tender care before from this mess of a man she married. He occasionally reached down to stroke himself, but made sure to keep focus on her.

My life started the day I got caught under the covers with secondhand lovers; Oh, tied up in pretty young things in a state of emergency

Dan gripped Brian's shoulders tightly as he settled back on his cock roughly. Brian leaned back against the headboard, letting Dan do most of the work. The Jew wasted no time as he began riding Brian aggressively, his nails digging into his shoulders. There was an unusual pain that he felt spread through his entire body as stroked himself with on hand.

Then the time for being sad is over and you miss 'em like you miss no other

Arin propped himself up on his hands on either side of Suzy, kissing her as deeply as he could without forcing it. He pushed inside of her, it feeling far more uncomfortable, like it was the first time all over again. Suzy moaned quietly, her arms around his neck.

And being blue is better than being over it, over it

"Dan, stop," Brian breathed, a pained look on his face.

Dan hung his head low, his eyes brimming with tears as he slowed to a stop. Brian pried his hands from his shoulders and held them in his.

Who was I tryna be?

"Arin, don't. This is getting fucking stupid," Suzy groaned, sitting up on her elbows. 

Say your prayers

Dan wiped away tears, sitting at the end of the bed. He hugged his knees to his chest and shied away from Brian's hand as it grazed him gently.

"This is so fucked up...you must hate me or something," Dan murmured, not bothering to look up.

"I feel a lot of gay shit right now, but hate isn't one of those things," Brian soothed, climbing to the end of the bed and wrapping an arm around Dan's bony shoulders. "I guess I'm more worried than anything. This is the most I've seen you cry in...ever."

"I just don't know what to do, man...like, I'm a dude in his late thirties crying about petty romantic bullshit buck-ass naked. What a pathetic fucker..."

"It's only fun seeing you in pain when I'm inflicting it, so...is there anything I can do to help?"

"Just...can we lay here for a while? I feel so numb and...tired..."

"Underwear on or off?"

"Off."

"Fine by me," Brian yawned, letting Dan curl up in his arms.

Say your prayers

"Arin, you're gonna hurt yourself," Suzy persisted.

He gritted his teeth and punched the headboard of the bed. He wasn't crying, but he definitely felt like he could break at any moment.

"I'm sorry...so fucking sorry..."

"The thing is, you know I'm not the one you need to be apologizing to. Sleep it off and leave him a message."

There was a long silence between them and Arin groaned in frustration. Suzy rubbed his back gently, kissing his cheek. He flopped back on the bed and curled up, head resting on her chest.

"I really fucking love him, don't I?" He asked, his voice weaker than before.

"And if you love him, let him go. If he loves you in return, he'll be back in his own time."

Arin nodded as if it made him feel any less like shit. Nonetheless, he closed his eyes.

Say your prayers


	4. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Suzy take matters into their own hands, making difficult decisions in the process of helping Arin and Dan. Super corny and a little shorter than I anticipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen to Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colby Caillat while reading this chapter for a rad experience

Another month of silence went by and the painful distance had taken its toll. Dan and Brian's tour was a hit, but offstage, Dan could barely force himself to get out of bed. Even so, he insisted it was 'better this way'. He refused to call Arin and got to a point where he barely even touched his phone. The concerts coupled with depression left him weak and absolutely miserable. Brian did his best to take care of him, but there's no amount of bandaids for a broken heart.

On Arin's side, he and Mark began doing Game Grumps. Reddit exploded with outrage over having another Not So Grump replaced. Off camera, the chemistry between them was just fine, but Mark wasn't Dan. Even so, he deflected Suzy's worried inquiries with a forced 'it's better this way'.

Perhaps both were just too afraid to try reconnecting after all the damage they created already. Maybe they just hated admitting they were wrong. Out of sight, out of mind didn't seem to work.

"Where're we headed to next," Dan asked, shimmying out of his kimono.

"Los Angeles," Brian replied, his hands tense on the steering wheel of the car.

Dan said nothing, but the discomfort was blatant as he shifted awkwardly. He tossed the kimono into the backseat and kicked into a pair of jeans.

"That's the last stop on our tour," Brian continued.

"What are you talking about?"

"We're flying into LAX and I'm leaving you there," he explained, grip even tighter on the polished wood steering wheel. "With Arin."

There was another pause, leaving his words in the air like dampness on a muggy summer's day. Dan looked over at him, a mixture of emotions sweeping through him. Brian stared straight ahead, his blue eyes fixed to the car ahead of them.

"Bri..."

"And the thing is, I guess I always knew it would come back to you and him. It doesn't have to do with me or anything I did, but you two are inseparable"

"I'm sorry..."

Brian shook his head as if the apology was unnecessary. Neither said a word to each other as they shuffled into the airport, dropped off the rental car, went through airport security, and boarded the plane. Brian had knocked out shortly after takeoff, his arms crossed over his chest as he snored. Dan leaned his head against the window, scanning the sky for some type of answer. When they finally landed, he could see Arin standing near the gate with Suzy. His face was sullen as they spoke.

"There he is," Suzy said, her voice solemn in tone. 

"Maybe we should just leave-"

"This is what you always wanted, honey. Everything'll finally work out."

Arin shook his head, running his fingers through his silky hair. Suzy smiled, kissing his cheek and rubbing his back reassuringly. It hurt to know their relationship was coming to an end, but she took comfort in knowing he would be with his best friend. He'd still be around, just with Dan. And that was pretty okay.

"Alright, just breathe and go talk to him," Brian advised, his face its normal sullen expression. 

"What...what about you," Dan asked, half turned to face Arin and half still with Brian. "Like, I feel so fucking bad-"

"I'll be just fine. Just go before I change my mind."

Dan took a deep breath and shuddered, nerves crawling through his entire body. Yes, this was what he wanted, but it felt unbelievably painful. Brian was never one to talk about his feelings, but his expression made it more than clear that he was either not pleased or prepared to murder someone. The shitty thing about love is that people tend to get hurt more often in the process than do get repaired. 

"You weren't just a buffer until now," Dan murmured, yanking Brian into a tight hug. "I didn't think you were like, a second choice or anything, okay?"

"Just go to him. I promise I'll be okay," Brian insisted, wincing uncomfortably. 

"A-are you crying?"

"No. Fuck off."

Dan smiled pathetically, his own eyes brimming with tears as Brian buried his face into his chest to hide his watering eyes. It wasn't like they wouldn't be around each other all the time. It wouldn't be the same, if that made any sense. He shouldn't have cared. Dan was just another guy. But that wasn't fucking true. Dan was the boyfriend anyone could ever imagine. He was like a John Green protagonist, but not nearly as pretentious. He was imperfect, but in a charming, stoner way, ya know?

"We're still a band," Dan sighed, finally wiping his eyes. "You're still my homicidal ninja baby. No one could replace you. And Arin's not going to. I promise."

Brian nodded calmly and gestured to Arin. It was time to face the music. Suzy did the same. Up until now, Dan hadn't looked at Arin full on. When he did, he instinctively ran into his arms, wrapping his arms and legs around him.

"God, I'm so fucking sorry," Arin breathed, holding Dan like a toddler. "I missed you so much, dude. Don't ever leave me again or I'll fight you."

"Shut the fuck up! You're gonna make me cry," Dan murmured, burying his face into Arin's shoulder. "Just tell me you fucking love me and we'll work the rest out later..."

"Look, man, I mean it. I was a selfish dick and I-I...I was wrong. If you wanna travel and do music full time, I'm on board one hundred percent."

Dan used the sleeve of his black leather jacket to dry his tears. Arin rested his forehead against Dan's and kissed his nose.

"I fucking love you, dude."

"I love you too."

"Now, stop being a sappy bitch. Let's go get some In N' Out. I'm starving like a hooker caught stealing money from her pimp."

"Dude, what the actual fuck-"

They stared at each other for a moment before permeating the air with the sounds of familiar hysterical laughter. It'd been months since they'd been in the same area together and that alone was worth smiling about. Arin grabbed Dan's hand awkwardly, a doofy smile on his face as they walked toward the airport exit. And it was like nothing had changed between them. None of the angst of the last seven or so months seemed to mean anything anymore. Everything behind them faded into a past that could easily be forgotten.

At least that would be the case for Dan and Arin, anyway.


End file.
